TURKEY!

You really know a person is a worthless turkey when they can manage to disrupt your office even after they've left the company.

I received a call this morning from a former executive who had been "separated" under such onerous circumstances they had to drag in a lawyer to mediate the divorce.
Four months ago.
This piker had schlepped some of his personal furniture into the office suite when he started here, and wanted it back.
Now.

Seriously, the guy calls at a quarter to eight in the morning to announce his movers will be here at ten to pick up his stuff. Thanks for the notice, you creep.

Three Hermann Miller (oooh!) office chairs and a white board in a conference room.
Not a dry erase board on an easel, mind you.
No, this sucker is anchored into the studs and sheet rock.
When it comes out, it's going to leave a large hole.
He wants it now.
Has to have it today.

I told him he would have to give us a little time to arrange to have the thing removed; there were back-to-back meetings scheduled for that conference room all day long.

When he asked to speak to someone else about this (remember, it's an hour and 15-minutes before the office opens), I suggested he speak to one of the partners, a former Air Force Colonel, who likes this guy even less than me.

Within the hour, moving men were rapping on our door, wanting his stuff. I gave them the chairs and an IOU. We'll probably just offer the jerk some more money so he can go buy another white board somewhere else.
Like he needs it.
Meanwhile, two people showed up for work this morning with no chairs in their work spaces.

What a great legacy to leave behind at a place you've worked. A crappy taste in everyone's mouth, and a few gaping spaces to remind us we're glad he's out of here.